How to Support a Grieving Friend at Christmas | Helpful Tips & Advice from East of England Co-op Funerals
How to Support a Grieving Friend at Christmas
Christmas is a time of joyful celebrations and gifts – but if you are supporting a grieving friend during the holidays, this is when your ‘presence’ really matters.
For anyone who has lost a loved one, what was once a time of year to look forward to, can feel empty, painful and overwhelming.
We’ve supported families across Norfolk, Suffolk and Essex for over 100 years — helping people find comfort and guidance through life’s most difficult moments.
‘Being there’ for a friend who is coping with loss at Christmas, small acts of kindness and professional bereavement support can make the world of difference.
Start Gentle Conversations and Listen
It’s difficult to talk about bereavement, but asking an open-ended question is a good way to start a conversation.
It’s important that your friend feels able to express their emotions freely, without worrying about upsetting you.
Listen carefully with empathy and understanding – this will bring more comfort than any words or actions could. Try not to interrupt, offer advice, be judgmental, or compare their experience with others.
Navigating Grief and the Holidays
Small, thoughtful acts of kindness in the lead-up to Christmas can have a big, lasting impact.
Sending a heartfelt Christmas card, mentioning the name of your friend’s loved one or sharing a cherished memory, can show that their loss is remembered and honoured.
If gifts are exchanged, consider a memorial gift or a donation to a charity that was meaningful to their loved one. Offer to light a candle with them, visit their loved one’s graveside, or sit together and look at their funeral tribute page if their bereavement is recent.
Practical support, such as helping with household chores or Christmas planning, can also ease some of the holiday pressure.
It’s thoughtful to invite your friend to get-togethers, but always make it clear that there’s no obligation to do so. Your friend may feel like they have to put on a brave face and turn up to gatherings, but ask them what they truly want to do and support their wishes.
If your grieving friend has children, offer to watch over them for a while, so that they can have some time to themselves for self-care or to catch up on any tasks.
Letting your friend know you’re there for them, while respecting their space, allows them to feel supported without any pressure to act or feel a certain way.
Stay in Regular Contact with a Grieving Friend
Grief can be a lonely experience, and staying in touch regularly is one of the simplest yet most powerful ways to show support for someone who is grieving.
Letting someone know you’re thinking of them – especially as Christmas approaches – shows that your care is genuine and constant regardless of the flurry of festive plans. A phone call, a text or a short visit will help to reassure your friend that they’re not alone.
Offer to go for a walk, encourage your friend to look after themselves, and offer practical help with funeral-related tasks if the loss is very recent.
Offer Support Beyond the Holidays
Grief is a long, unpredictable journey with no set timeline. Your friend may need ongoing support in the weeks and months that follow Christmas.
It’s also important to remember that the first Christmas after losing a loved one will be followed by the second, and then the third... a person’s absence will be felt deeply each time.
This festive season, the greatest gift you can give a grieving friend is your compassion, patience and understanding.
East of England Co-op Funeral Services can help put you in touch with the charity AtaLoss, which provides bereavement support.
Click here for our downloadable guide to help you support a grieving friend at Christmas.
